quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
