Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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