How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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