my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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