The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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