For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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