You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So squirting runs in the family.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
