My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
