there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
