drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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