I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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