Banned from zoo.
Again?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
