i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Im part way to drunk.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
