pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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