Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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