I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
