He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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