It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
