You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There r osticjed everywhere
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
