So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
