remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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