remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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