maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
