Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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