Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You ate ashes out of my bong
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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