peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
