Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i think my cat just said my name.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
