have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
