Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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