so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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