my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
