Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
