i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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