I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There r osticjed everywhere
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
