Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize