I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
