How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize