What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
