I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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