I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
