We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You're like the curious george of whores
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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