he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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