Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
