hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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