Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize