No stitches, just platelets and will power
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just want nice things and good sex
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
