I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
