Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
