dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
