Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
