he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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