you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
