it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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