We're like a lot better than the average bears
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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