i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
