the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I will be naked everywhere
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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