I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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