I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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