Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
