she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
