Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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