I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
