meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
