Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
