i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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