Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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