if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
