I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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