i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
