I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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