I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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